On track

Hm.

I think I’m improving my clean a bit. Let’s wait and see what coach says now shall we.
Ok hands down. One of the worst thing about filming yourself while lifting must be the frowns i make. Come oooon people! (me).
Well that and -WOOOW look how pale I am. I’m transparent.
I need to get a tan. I wanna go spraytan. Do I know anyone doing that stuff? Inbox me asap. I’m fading away over here.

I also found out I ain’t an Odd Molly kinda woman. Wtf?! Sometimes you’re just lost man. Anyway, it’s on tradera now. I can’t even look at it. What was I thinking?

And also, hands up those who think I should make a recipe book. Jen4jen goes writer, huh?
It would contain shitloads of breakfasts, more or less healthy cookies and easy made food to…eat.
What do you say?

Who doesn’t love pancakes? It sure ain’t no friend of mine.
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Learning stuff

Monday is finally here.

Good training with squats and clean and running. I will say it again. Robin is such a pro! Greatness ahead!

I think three week has gone now since I made my decision. Life quality and riot no diet. I notice a difference of course. My thighs are thicker. I think it’s legit since I squat more aswell. Not so much signs of abs left, but the core is strong and I do have a better posture.
I also notice a difference in my limbs, I move smoother. I feel more energized and all of a sudden I wanna dress more female, like a woman. Soft colours, skirts, dresses.
And I wanna go to yoga! I’m thinking about bikram yoga, 360 bikramyoga-I’m in. All the benefits, all the sweat, the meditation and the feeling afterwards. Been longing for this. Imma go.

The struggle is real and it ain’t easy dammit. But it is going to be worth it, that I know.

Thoughts and things I’ve learned the passed week:

  1. Getting thicker thighs isn’t the end of the world
    2. To push with my legs when lifting. (Thank you thicker thighs).
    3. Missing someone is hard.
    4. That I have a happy personality with a melancholy soul.
    5. Trolls in social media are stupid.
    6. That life is to short to not eat chocolate.
    7. Not being pulled over by the police TWICE the same day is kinda the greatest feeling.
    8. That I wanna find a great coffee place to read books in.
    9. That I wanna sing jazz with my epic band asap.

Hollaaa at me! Great morningsession
5 ROUNDS:
25 goblet squats
200m run
10 burpees
Try it.

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Post disease

The mystery of the body.

Part 45673.
Yesterday something knocked me out. Took my socks away. Swept me to the floor. Punched me in the face. Slapped me around. Bang right into the wall. Face plant style.
Lord I was sick. Pain in every limb in every part of my body. Wanted to throw up and sleep at the same time.
And today? Hm, almost like nothing happened. No fever, no sickness left. Not a trace of a cold anywhere.
I slept 4 hours daytime and 10 nighttime. I think I needed some rest huh?
Home today and no training of course.
Thou shall never train in sickness. Ever.

Soooo…What do you do when you’re at home and feel ok?
1.You edit the next podcast episode about blood, science and new inventions with Martin Olsson.
2. You clean. (The apartment that is)
3. You install your new computer! Yeeey! Windows 10! Booyaa! Looks nice! But can I get a crash course? Anyone?
4. You also decide to never eat nearby your new computer. To treat it with respect, love and care and to keep stuff in order, folders and maps and all that.
5. You wonder which sound editing program to buy. Think imma need some help with this one. No more free dowloading crap.
6. You wonder what’s up for 17.4. Thrusters 100%.
7. You read that awsome book. Greatness really. I love it when I find the peace and quiet inside of myself to read.
8. You eat.
9. You overdose on Yogi tea (with cinnamon of course.)
10. You try not to be noticeably nervous about the fact that you’re going on national television tonight at 21:00 or 9:pm at SVT1. Morgans mission. Don’t miss out on that one yao!

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Notes

If you can’t stop thinking about it. Don’t stop working for it.

Well, well, well. Clean looking better and the weights, hey, I think I master them. It’s actually a powerful feeling that one. One of the best.

Looking through my notes on my phone.
You know, I was planning this little blog post would be about how I feel so much more relaxed, mature and all grown up these days, letting the woman in me out (instead of that little girl). But yeah. I might just be schizophrenic.

A little selection from my notes:

To do Wednesday:
freeze bananas
google small tattoos
buy tooth paste
print tickets at work
go to 3 and ask how iCloud works
call mum

Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.

Good-to-have (buy some day)
vaccum cleaner
bread form
socks

7:26
(no further info)

Monday:
KAY!!

Radio shadow?

End of selection. Hm. Am I a stranger?
Have a nice Wednesday!
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Fear the pear

Happy lifting!

It’s week two in my program and I’ve learned shitloads in just a week! This looks promising!
Lots of new bridges taking shape in my brain and plenty of “aha”-moments going on in there.
Rumor has it: happy brain happy vein.

Squats, cleanpull, powerclean, push press and a little thruster-burpees burner in the end.
Whatta way to start this Monday!
I like Mondays. For real. I like the feeling of a fresh start and the sound of a city awakening, and of course most importante, the smell of coffee.
The best smell in the world is to open up a new coffee package.

I also love pancakes and here’s the recipeIMG_0332
Fear the pear
2 eggs
0,5 banana
0,5 dl cottage cheese
baking powder
some roasted almonds
1 dl oats
Mix everything in a mixer, leave for 5 minutes.
Fry.
Serve with Lindahls quark pear flavor and berries or fresh fruit or whatever floats your boat.

To die for!! Enjoy!

Monday mode

It’s been a week.

Mindset going strong. Game is on set. Keep on keep on, one day at the time. I shall be free eventually.

Training game on set aswell.
Got my programming from Robin today and is he pro or what?! Oh snap, he is!!
I have several goals for my training and he’s gonna help me achieve them.
Started out nice and easy today with backsquats and cleanpull and hang clean and jerks.
Aaaand a little Karen-burner in the end (150 wall balls with an extra heavy ball (7kg))
Angry as a little hungry baby bear during the workout, I had no balance, dropped the damn ball all the time, lactic acid. Man I swore too much (sorry everyone).
Afterwards:
Happy again! As always when I train. Haha.

And then I gave 17.2 a go and I knew I’d only make two rounds so. I did them and I’m looking forward to 17.3 instead.
I’m guessing thrusters and DU’s.

Anyway. I’m tired and I already wanna watch Girls and google my next tattoo.
Also my eyes hurts and I really want to moisturize my face over and over.

OH! Does anyone know how to save stuff on iCloud instead of your phone? I AM CLUELESS.

Kinda.
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Riot NO diet.

I blame it on my ADD baby.

I’m excited, I’m exhausted, I’m everything and nothing at the same time.
I have a vision for my life, (kinda about everything and nothing) and it’s mine to keep forever.
Also about this rock in the storm. This spark that lights my fire. Something to hold on to yet something to totaly let go with.
It’s a gut reaction.
When you just feel it, things starts to fall into place.
Time to go places and stuff. Inside and out.

What else?
One week until I release the Showan Shattak interview podcast. Guys, this is one of the most important episode I’ve ever made. You do not wanna miss this. March the 8th it is. Stay tuned!! One more week to go!

Ah! Ok so strong is awesome. A relaxed and sane relationship with your body is even more awesome. We need to talk about this guys.
I’m glad “strong is the new skinny” but what’s frightening me is this ortorexia thing that’s claiming a hell lot of space.
It makes me so sad. And I’ve been there to you know. More or less for a very, very long time. And I want to get out of that trap. Because that’s exactly what it is. A trap. I’m on it. The being free path.

This is a fucking tough nut to crack. It really gets to you. Those brain bogeys. Sitting there on your shoulder talking crap. They don’t even care if it’s in the middle of the night. Don’t you just hate them deeply?
Stress, negative thoughts and pain. The cortisol levels shoots through the roof and away (but stays in your body and makes it sour and shit for sure).
Your self-esteem lives in your mind, not your body, never the body. You need to feed your brain first, make your brain prio one. Your brain is your best friend and you know it.
And how well does a brain work without carbs, without fat? And with constant thoughts on obsessing about your body and if you look fat in that angle or if that lasagna will make you feel bloated. You measure your waist, hip, thighs every day and hoping those centimeters goes away. That’s basically your only wish right there and then. (Well, that and eat a huge chocolate cake or ten).
You are also constantly obsessing about your next training session, and what if (God forbid) you’re gonna miss it!! Despair! You have to work overtime? Ok. Now everything is ruined. Can’t make it ’til that cardio session? What if you’ll gain weight now? Most probably. Better cancel your date-night. Yeah. You don’t wanna look huge on a date anyway, what’s he gonna think? That you’re a lazy bastard. Yepp.
And add an extra workout because you had a cappuccino earlier, and cappuccino contains milk and we all know milk is the devil.
It makes me so sad when I realize how much energy I’ve been wasting thinking about how to avoid birthdaycakes, how much time I’ve been waisting when I was busy measuring even the smallest tomato (for real), how much trouble I’ve caused myself (and others) to reach that absolute perfect weight. The weight where every problem I’ve ever had would magically solve themself.
All it takes is that perfectly composed breakfast, lunch and dinner. All in a healtyorganicsuperboost style of course. Measure calculate train measure calculate train and measure calculate and train. More. Harder. Better. Faster. We don’t ever stop. Mind over body. Don’t stop when you’re tired. Never give up. Just do it.
Or just don’t.

I believe in a healthy lifestyle, good food and sound sleep. But I also believe in LIFE. And to live life to the fullest.
Makes me sad if I’m gonna spend it next to a scale of some kind. Day in and day out. So I threw them away.
I will handle this.
Deal with it.

Hello life why did you take so long? Anyway, doesn’t matter. I’m here now.

 

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Trashtalk

It has come to my awareness.

…that what other people say about me is none of my business. I guess.
I still prefer a straight forward communicaton but according to facts, that’s not for everyone. But hey! Small minded people discuss people and great minds discuss ideas.
Right?

I just don’t wanna listen to trash talk, I don’t wanna settle for less, I for sure don’t wanna get less paid, I don’t wanna turn myself inside out to please.
What do you even mean what do I mean?
Nah I don’t wanna try so hard to be perfect all. the. time.  Eat perfect, train perfect, work perfect, be nice, be kind, be soft, be quiet, aaaaw bullshit.

Haha.

I will be the girl who does what is best for me.

Good training this morning though. Chippers I love.
The rest of the day I will spend with my book, my fighting gloves aaand my book again.
Some editing aswell. Grow business, grow.
Perhaps a new form of podcasting is taking form, stage 1. A different approach this time. Need more flesh on my bones before it’s for sure.

Bye bye!

Btw. Wanna run intervals some day? Outside in the sun ofc.

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Status Saturday

Saturrday

And I am in a good state of mind. I guess mostly because I’ve made up my mind. Or made it up. Who knows? Anyway, if it’s good it is great.
I think people in general need to be more genuine.
My sisters (oh those smart ones), always gives me these tools I can use to understand, to know what matters. What really matters.
I know that now, I have figured out what it is I’m looking for and what I need and like (or I’ve always known but it is so easy to get lost in this noise that’s sorrounding us.)
My mission is to follow the path, the brightlights. Go where my soul can rest a while. Just a few more days now. Big relief.

Speaking of my sisters, such entepreneurs! So much creativity! Big sister with her own shrink business and the successful podcast. And now little sister with the photoprojects and her great writing. Mark July 14th in your calendar folks. Exhibition time! You are my inspiration!

Besides that I think I’m on my way getting a cold. Hm. Better rest tomorrow. Workwork all nightnight and sleep forever.

I’m also in a serie mood again. I love it!! Girls will return, I’m watching Vikings, Taboo and Black mirror atm. So nice to be back. Imma serie kinda girl. Now, all I need is a couch and maybe a bigger screen. And snacks.

Had a fab workout this morning and since I love HSPU squats and AB I made a little OT2M out of it as you can see.
Training goes well. 80 unbroken double unders yesterday and some decent heavy cleaning today. What more can I ask for. Let’s hope I don’t get sick now though.
That would stink.

Wish you a supersaturday! Imma read now. Proud nerd. Bye bye!

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Thiefs

Let’s talk…

…a bit about grumpy people and people that steals your energy away. These two charming characteristic often goes hand in hand I’ve noticed. The grumpier you are, the more assholes you meet. Just like Banksy puts it. And how come? Weeeeell take a wild guess peeps.

I met an energy thief the other day. Actually I meet this thief a couple of times a week.
This particular one likes to play some kinda Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde with me. That must be it! Because one day we laugh and the other day this person is sending me vibes that could send me to Inferno or something. A sort of misuse of power. To not say hello, to throw looks that kills, to not answer if I ask something, not responding to small talk even.
Every time this happens I examine myself and wonder what the hell I’ve done to this person. What have I done wrong that could piss her off? Again. And I recall…nothing. Zero. Null.
I will from now on stop doing this. I will not let myself get insecure by these people no more. I have done nothing wrong and if I have, well please tell it to my face because I ain’t a goddamn mindreader. I hate the guessing game.
I think all of this leads down to jealousy in the end. And jaundice. Very nice.
I’m aware I have habits and stuff people tend to interfer with and sometimes makes them go crazy I guess.
Like my ability to not be on time, always a few minutes late. Gosh it’s so hard!! I’m not proud and I really try and I will try harder.
That I train a lot can be very disturbing I’ve noticed. We have two camps in this question. The ones that cares about me and don’t wan’t me to train to much because of the health aspect, and those who wish they had the discipline to train at all I guess. Fine.
Some people might dislike my impulsiveness, I think I have some kind of impulsive disorder that tend to put me in situations I later need help to get out from.
I know it bothers some that I love to sleep and like to go to bed by 10 pm. That I spend money on skin-care. That I talk a lot. That I swear. That I have a temper of rang. And yeah well I can go on. (Let’s not, haha).
I understand it all. And I get jealous aswell of course.
I envy those who can chew gum in a soft and sexy way. I wish I had class and could dress more lady-like when required. I wanna have longer fingers and bigger boobs.
I would also like to start my own business and I envy those who can debate smart and funny for their cause. I hate it when everyone is repping muscle up beause I can’t. I wish I could snatch like a goddess and everytime I pass by a fancy restaurant I wish I was them sitting in there.

The thing is, we always want something else or something more of this or that. The difference between a bitter one and a happy one is that the bitter one tries to put other down for possessing the habits and skills that they don’t have. The happy one lifts others up because positive attracts, and that’s the way it is.
I would like to be the happy one and if I ever get bitter, please shoot me.
I believe in karma and universe will bounce back my wishes. Trust a little bit in magic friends.

Btw, todays workout was fab!!

Hollaaa!

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